The State of Console Gaming

Many Christmases ago, my parents gave me an Atari 7800. It was an amazing system. I had a trackball for playing Warlords, a couple of two-button joysticks, and I eventually built up a collection of around thirty games. I used to go to Kay Bee Toys at the Post Oak Mall to buy games - I think they were only around $5 each.

After the Atari, I got a Nintendo. Then I got a Super Nintendo. This was the golden years of console gaming. Or at least, that's what I like to think, because it was a very big part of my life. I never made it past the Super Nintendo. I switched over to PC gaming after that. I wanted a Playstation (which everyone at the time was calling a "waitstation" because of the long loading times for games). I wanted a Dreamcast. I wanted a lot of things, but the equipment kept getting more and more expensive and I grew further and further away from the console scene.

A couple of years ago, I got Andrea a Nintendo Wii for her birthday. I thought it would kickstart a new era of gaming for me. It didn't. The game selection was (still is) pretty pathetic and even if it weren't, how is one supposed to get a good diverse library of games when they're all $30 to $50? I'm a grown man with a great job, but I just can't abide that price for games that are essentially all just prettier looking versions of old $5 games. And don't call me a hypocrit, because I still go back and play and enjoy the hell out of those old Nintendo games. I'm currently re-playing the Castlevania series. I beat the first one, now I'm on Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. Anyway, the Wii has mostly been collecting dust. The only game that's truly fun to play is Super Mario Galaxy. I say this with nearly complete ignorance, because I just don't really know what's out there. No one I know hangs out and plays Wii. No one talks video games. We've all moved on to house and career oriented conversation...

Recently, my friend Brian got a PS3. I jokingly told his roommate Beth to tell him to bring it over. She actually did ask him, and he actually did bring it, and it ressurrected the part of me that loved console gaming. We played Little Big Planet for several days. The last time I played a console and really had fun was when I discovered Katamari Damacy on a PS2. Perhaps I've been throwing my money in the wrong direction. Nintendo was so good back in the day, but they seem to have lost their way...

So, what it all boils down to is that I've been contemplating video games a lot lately. Before I played on Brian's PS3 I had just given up - I wanted to sell the Wii. Now I'm thinking I'd rather keep it and get some new games... and maybe get a PS3 as well... I just sold my drum kit which I never played, so perhaps that money could go towards a new system. I started looking only for Wii games, PS3 systems, and PS3 games. I like to research things into the ground until I know everything about them... Mostly what I've found out is that I don't know if I can justify $300 for a PS3 (not including any games or extra controllers or cables). I don't know if I can justify $40 for new Wii games ($20 for some crappy used ones). I would like to get back into things slowly - cautiously - I have a bad habit lately of spending too much money on things that I don't end up caring about (see "drum kit" above). So, I started looking into rental and trading options in regards to new games for the Wii and even that seems like kind of a rip off.

• Blockbuster rents Wii games for $8 for 5 days.
• Hollywood Video/Gamecrazy rents games for closer to $5 each if you sign up for a monthly fee and you still only get them for 5 days. In addition, they have miserable selection and availability.
• Gamefly has membership fees of $16 per month for 1 game at a time or $23 for 2 at a time... Almost comfortable, but I'm still not feeling warm and fuzzy about it.

So, I get the bright idea to axe all my friends if I can has games. A few of them have Wiis, most of them have the same couple of games that I do - I'm still holding out a little hope for that option. I tried finding a borrowing/lending website for games too, but haven't found anything that looks good. Andrea just suggested the library. She says she used to rent Nintendo games from the library - I'll have to look into that option...

The current state of console gaming (in my house) is apparently bit of a kerfuffle I'm afraid. I want it, but I don't have much time for it, and I'm not willing to spend a lot of money on it. The Wii, after getting games and accessories, ended up being $550ish dollars back in the day. I don't really want to do that again with a PS3 just because I had a little fun playing Little Big Planet. What to do, what to do... Writing about it has helped a little. I think I may have to do a little more research into the used games market as well. I'm gonna go dust off the damn Wii and see if it can make me happy for a little while...

Is anyone else into console gaming these days? Any wanna lend me some new games? Leave a comment! (And by that I mean leave a comment on Blogger, not Facebook. Most of you see these posts via the link to Facebook, but I'm sick and tired of Facebook collecting all the comments for my Blogger blog.)

Project Idea: Korobeiniki Ring

I've had the Tetris song stuck in my head for awhile now - at least a week. I've been whistling it and humming it at work while I'm wandering around the server room installing hardware. It's strangely appropriate... I just checked Wikipedia and apparently this song is actually called "Korobeiniki". The song is originally a Russian folk song about a peddler [possibly] getting lucky in a rye field with a girl named Katya! Interesting trivia, right? The song we all know from a video game is actually a love song. So, the last line of the song is about how the girl leaves and only takes one turquoise ring, which made me think, "how cool would it be to make a Tetris-themed turquiose ring?" I searched around and found some cube-shaped turquiose beads on Amazon. All I need is a ring base to mount them on. I really like the idea... Maybe I should draw it up and actually do it? I will try to get the motivation...

While we wait for that, check out this video:

Russian folk song "Korobushka" - Mikhail Smirnov and ensemble Barynya

Freelancing

My career as a freelancer begins today. I reckon one of the first things I oughta do is perhaps take some time to make sure that when potential clients google "Evans Tucker", they don't end up reading my ridiculous personal blog...

Or perhaps I shouldn't care? The growing technological nature of our existence will either force the Internet to get very boring by shaming us all into putting only the most bland, censored content online, or we will all just have to accept that our private lives (by which I mean the content that we post on our blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc.) are not so private. We will have to learn to live with those drunken photos of us waving machetes around - we will have to proudly exclaim, "Yes! That was a good New Year's Eve party! Don't worry, no one was hurt. So, am I hired?"

What do you think my friends? My family?

How about you, my potential clients? Don't be shy. :)

Quick and Dirty Guide to Maui

Kihei has been our hometown for both of our trips to Maui. The first time we were there, we stayed at a resort called Hale Pau Hana that was on Kamaole beach. Both the resort and the beach were amazing! Across the street was a great shopping center with a Whaler's General Store. The first thing you gotta do when you get to Maui is buy yourself a big-ass hat, a $10 ukulele, some sunscreen, and some Hawaiian Host Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nuts. The second time we went to Maui, we stayed at an apartment called Kapulanikai, which has a huge, beautiful green lawn and a very generous mango tree - I ate mangoes almost every day. The sunsets on that lawn were so relaxing... A cool breeze would start blowing through the palm trees in the evenings, then Al and his weinerdog Tiny, would drive over on a golf cart and feed the feral kitties. A little later, everything would be silhouetted against a gorgeous sunset and then the stars would come out - a crapload of stars - a beautiful, sparkly crapload. And finally it would get a little too cold to be out in your swimsuit and you'd walk back to the apartment through a lawn covered in huge toads and snails - they would come out of hiding in the evenings and claim the lawn in the name of Toaddom. But enough of that crap, right? This is a guide.

Important note about booking stuff: do it weeks (if possible) or days (at least) in advance. Events and "activities" fill up quickly.

I will reference a book called Maui Revealed several times. Get it.

Kihei:

• Go get drinks at the South Shore Tiki Lounge. They have the best bartender I've ever met - he's friendly, gives suggestions on drinks, and gives an honest opinion about all the liquor and beer they sell. He also plays some great 90's weirdo music. When we went most recently he was playing The Country Death Song by The Violent Femmes - great song.
• Get breakfast at the Kihei Caffe. I highly recommend pancakes and coconut syrup. I also highly recommend everything else.
• If you don't wanna eat out every night (cuz it gets expensive), go grocery shopping at Hawaiian Moons.
  
• Go to Big Beach. It will instill you with a healthy amount of fear/respect for the ocean. Don't get your neck snapped by the shore break waves or I will be sad.
• Go to any of the Kamaole beaches. They're all white and sandy and beautiful and not too crowded usually and have decent snorkeling.
• Go to Po'olenalena Beach. It's hard to find - look for a sign on the side of the road near a yellow metal gate once you get in the area. It's rarely crowded and has the best snorkeling. Beth and Jake said that it was way better than paying for a crowded, stupid Molokini tour. We saw four sea turtles and a ton (probably literally) of fluorescent fish. This is the beach where we got married, by the way...

Snorkeling:

• Go to Snorkel Bob's and get some cheap $10/week Jacques-Cousteau-lookin' black rubber snorkel junk. If you're feeling uppity, get the more expensive, less-'tarded looking stuff to make yourself feel better. Either way, Snorkel Bob's is the best.
• Don't waste your money on a tour. Just find a quiet beach, preferably in the morning. Look for a rocky outcropping and start swimming. You will see all kindsa crazy crap - just don't touch none of it!
• Don't drown or get eaten by sharks.

The Road to Hana:

• Get some cash for park fees at the end of the road, pack a good lunch, wear a swimsuit, and wear some good water shoes or hiking shoes.
  
• Start early - like really early - like be out the door by 8 if you wanna actually stop anywhere and check anything out. If you don't leave till 10 or 11, just skip all the stops and enjoy the drive - it's ridiculously verdant and pretty.
  
• Drive safe or you will die.
  
• Don't bother with one of those audio guide CDs - they're all garbage. Use the Maui Revealed book to attempt to find some waterfalls - it's cryptic and confusing though. Just persevere and you'll be rewarded eventually.
• Stop somewhere and get some over-hyped banana bread. It won't change your life or anything, but it is pretty tasty.
• Stop at the Garden of Eden and check out all the birds and plants. There are tame peacocks and ducks - maybe not everyone's cup of tea, but my inner child enjoyed it.
• I regret not stopping at Waianapanapa Park - perhaps you should check it out and lemme know if it's cool. It's allegedly got a nice black sand beach.
  
• Skip the town of Hana itself - there's nothing to see there, hehe. I've never stopped there anyway.
• Do not miss this part! Go all the way to Kipahulu area of Haleakala National Park. Pay the fee. Keep your ticket stub - you can use it again (within 3 days) to get into the other parts of Haleakala National Park for free. Start hiking. You will be hiking for several hours. It is all worth it. First you will go past some beautiful waterfalls - go swimming if you wish, but don't dawdle too much. You will go through some forest. You will reach the entrance to a bamboo forest. The bamboo will block out all daylight and it will be creepy and awesome. You will hike for a while through this. You will find a secret at the end that we mortals aren't worthy to behold... don't get killed by falling rocks.

Mama's Fish House/Paia:

You could theoretically fit this into the Road to Hana adventure, but it'd be rough. Go to Mama's Fish House. It'll come out to $100/person, but it's fantastic and the hype is justified. The food is great - especially the lau lau, the drinks are great tasting if perhaps slightly weak, the service is fantasic, the venue is piiiiimp - but island pimp - lot's of fine furnishings and driftwood and local flare. Walk around after you eat. Wander around the grounds outside as well. This is your one and only time to dress up nice and go on a date. If you want to leave a little early, you can wander around Paia before you go eat - it's like a smaller version of Lahaina. I didn't find anything really notable there, but that doesn't mean you won't.

Lahaina:

• You can make this a short stop on the way to West Maui, or you can make a day of it by chartering some kinda boat or submarine in advance. Tell me how a boat charter goes if you do that - I've never gone on a cruise or a sail or whatever in Maui.
  
• Eat at the original Cheeseburger in Paradise - everything's good - not just the burgers.
• Check out the Banyan Tree Park and reflect upon the fact that this forest is actually all one massive tree. ONE TREE! Unbelievable!
• Book a submarine ride at Atlantis Adventures - it's worth it if you've never been on a sub before. You'll probably see some rays and eels and possibly even some sharks. Plus you get to experience science - almost all light except ultraviolet gets filtered out once you get deep... It's weird.
  
• Check out all the art. This place is apparently one of the larger art capitals of the world.
• Don't bother hanging out after dark - the nightlife is back in Kihei.

West Maui:

• This is another long trip, but it's worth it. This is the hot, dry side of Maui. Wear good shoes, pack snacks and lots of water, don't bother with a hat - it'll be too windy.
• The "falling rocks" signs are not just for show here - drive safe and watch for rubble and/or boulders on the road.
• Read the directions in the Maui Revealed book for the "acid warzone" hike. Go on it. It's rad.
• Look at the ocean - I have never seen a more powerful force of nature than these waves crashing against the jagged rocks below.
• Keep going until you reach the Nakalele Blowhole. You will know it when you see it - it's not a tiny little puff of mist - it's a huge geyser. Go play in it, but don't fall in or you will die.
• Don't go too near the cliffs around the blowhole either - the ocean is sneaky in this area and just when you start to get used to it, it will send a huge wave up and over that barrier and knock you over and/or drag you screaming out to sea where it will pulp you against the rocks below. (This phenomenon as well as the awesomeness of the blowhole itself vary depending on the time of day/tide/wind.)
• Once you're bored of the blowhole, go try to find the Olivine Pools.

Iao Valley:

• Stop at the Bailey House Museum in Wailuku. It's got some damn interesting stuff to look at/read about.
• Go see Iao Valley.
• Don't allow the tiny paved "official" trail area to confine you - just start walking towards the needle on one of the dirt paths and see where you go.
• The trails branch a lot. Don't get lost in the woods and die.
• See all that yellow fruit on the ground? Find a good one and eat it. It's passion fruit (aka. "lilikoi"). If you do get lost, at least you won't die of starvation. And come to think of it, there aren't really any large predators in Maui, or snakes, or anything dangerous. If you manage to die in Iao Valley you must be some kinda crazy, accident prone dumbass.

Haleakala:

• Remember that ticket stub from the end of the Road to Hana trip? Here's where you'll use it.
• Don't be fooled into going to see a sunrise on Haleakala. It is really, without exaggeration, barely above freezing and there are 20 to 30 mph wind gusts. Unless you specifically packed a thick winter wardrobe, you will regret it.
• On the drive up and on some of the hikes, watch for the cloud layer. When you're in it, it's like being in some ghost world. Freaky! Nothing's quite as amazing and driving down into the clouds either.
  
• Go on as many of the hiking trails as you can. Seeing the Haleakala "crater" from each one is amazing. Sit down at the end of a good hike and watch the clouds spill into the valley.
• See if you can find some silverswords before they go extinct. They're up towards the very top where it's mostly reddish volcanic rock.
• Check out a sunset perhaps? I didn't do it, but I will if I ever get another chance.
• Book an adventure at Skyline Eco Adventures. They tell great jokes. "What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boo-bees! ...they're my favorite kind of bees too." Hehehe.

Luau:

• Just go see one. Book well in advance if you can. I've been to the highest rated "Old Lahaina Luau", which was great, but the other one I went to in Kihei (I forget the name) was fun too.

I'll get photos of our Maui trip up soon. Send me stories of yours if you ever go!

Evans-vite: My Birthday Party

I'm turning 100000 years old this Saturday and I wanna go toobin'. So, getcho swim trunks and yo flippie floppies and join me!

When: Saturday, June 20th at 2:00pm
Where: Rocking R River Rides (1405 Gruene Rd, New Braunfels, TX 78130)

• Toob rentals are about $15 each - I can probably get a group discount depending on how many people show.
• I'm not taking my cell phone, so don't be late or you will be floating alone...
  
• Bring sunscreen, use it, and reapply, or else.
• If you decide to bring tasty beverages, be sure to bring them in cans or plastic - no glass is allowed on the river.

Gruene (part of New Braunfels) is a weird little town. I plan on driving down there early to wander around and get some lunch. If you're interested in joining me, let me know before Saturday.





There are only 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Acrochordon

In addition to rashes in fun places, I've recently developed some of these as well. More commonly known as "skin tags". Three of them on my neck. They're a real pain in the ass - er... a pain in the neck - when you're trying to shave. Coincidentally, they might be caused by irritating the skin (for example, by running a razor over my skin on a weekly basis.) It was just one and now two more have appeared. I'm thinking home surgery might be the solution. Dry ice and forceps?

Ignoring them is another easy, do-it-yourself solution...

Stupid human body.

Poison Ivy

Evans pulled a bunch of vines off of the fence the other day. They turned out to be poison ivy. Evans got poison ivy rashes in various places on his body. What is the worst possible place that he could get a rash? Please leave your answer in the comments.

My woman is AWESOME!

So, Andrea's company rented out a theater at the Alamo Drafthouse for their quarterly company meeting/party. Her company is awesome like that. They had a contest to give away tickets to ACL. Andrea won one by singing her favorite song.

Here's a link to the song. And here's Andrea singing it. And here's her encore, cuz people loved it so much that they made her get up and sing it again!

Andrea, you rule! I love you!

Florida Keys

Beth and Jake invited us to go to the Florida Keys with them earlier this year. They used to live in a trailer park down there. That's probably not how the locals referred to it, but I don't have a better term. It was a classy gated trailer park community on the water with a jacuzzi, a pool, bath houses, and a guard at the entrance keeping out anyone who didn't belong. We took them up on the invitation and went down there last weekend. It was a short trip, but it was great. I, for one, needed a little break - and I love going to new places and learning new things.

I learned a lot of interesting things from stories that Beth and Jake were telling us. Most of which prompted Wikipedia searches because I'm a Wikipedia freak. And those searches yielded even more interesting information. Apparently the Keys used to be inhabited by "wreckers" - sort of like pirates or privateers. I'm still a little confused as to whether they stole valuables from wrecked ships, or helped the owners of the ships to recover their valuables for a hefty fee... Sometimes the cargo they found was pretty weird (check out the article). They also told us about this spy blimp that the military used to spy on Cuba. It was called "Fat Albert" - if you read the story you'll learn that it's actually an aerostat (a tethered balloon.) I tried a few times to get a picture of it, but none of them came out. The most interesting and amusing thing I learned was the whole history of the Conch Republic (apparently pronounced "konk".) You can read more about it on their official website here. The short, short version is that Key West actually seceded from the United States in the 80's, declared war by hitting an officer with a loaf of stale Cuban bread. They then surrendered and applied for foreign aid from the U.S. - all because of an annoying roadblock. There's more to it than that, and more incidences as well like the Invasion of '95. Pretty amusing stuff.

In addition to the history and stories, I got a pretty decent feel for the place. I really knew nothing about the Keys before we went. What I learned was that it's just south of Miami - a very nice drive since we rented a convertible. We drove down through the Everglades which weren't as tall as I was expecting. For some reason I expected jungle canopy, but it was really just a marsh. The whole area is actually pretty flat - like a meadow, but instead of grass there are mangrove trees and alligators. Consequently, the Keys are not really that nice for swimming - not a lot of good beaches apparently. It's more of a boating/fishing place. We rented jet skis while we were there. That was a first for me. I'd like to try it again on a day that's not so windy and I'd like to be wearing goggles... I inhaled part of the Atlantic and got a sinus infection. We ate at a number of delicious places. There were three that really stood out: Camille's Restaurant (the best damn omelet I've ever had - crab, brie, asperagus, and dried tomatoes I believe), Blue Heaven (beautiful restaurant with tasty food), and El Meson de Pepe (excellent Cuban cuisine). I also had liquor for breakfast almost every morning... I discovered (or rediscovered? may have had it before) an excellent cream liquor that goes by the name "Amarula". The website is nearly as amazing as the booze actually...

Anyway, those are the highlights... Also Jake bashed his head open and bled everywhere - that was pretty rad. Here's the photo gallery for the trip to the Keys:

http://picasaweb.google.com/evans.tucker/FloridaKeys#slideshow

New Belt

Little stuff makes me happy...

I've been looking around for a new belt cuz the one I've got is too loose. I could punch more holes in it, but I don't like it that much - I've been looking for an excuse to get rid of it. My old favorite belt died on me a while ago. It was just a simple black belt with two rows of shiny silver grommets, but it started falling apart, so I trashed it. Ever since then I've been looking at belts whenever I find myself in a place that sells them. None of them have impressed me. I know there are cool belts out there - the world is a big place - so I started googling and I found all kinds of belts! Some were more than just belts and that aspect appealed to me. There were belts that were bottle openers, lighters, knives, etc. - all kinds of crazy stuff. So it came down to a decision: I could go with the awesome, highly illegal Gypsy Belt or the equally awesome, more practical 686 Snow Toolbelt. Hmm...

	Gypsy Belt	686 Snow Toolbelt
Pros	Stabbin' suckas! Handmade/unique.	Opens bottles. Can take damn near anything apart with it! Affordable. Won't cause arguement with wife! Safe to wear near man parts! Unlike deadly water, it's TSA approved!
Cons	Only takes apart people. Accidental castration? Not airport/cop friendly. Expen$$$ive. Wife may stab me with it for buying it...	No stabbing. :( Doesn't contain the word "gypsy". Made by snowboarding company. (All snowboarders are posers?) I'm a poser for wearing snowboarding toolbelt?

So, I decided on the 686 belt. As an added bonus, when I went to order it, I found out that there was a 14K gold-plated one with the same double-row of grommets that my old belt had! Yay! I love gold. Dunno why. Maybe it's in my blood... I'm half-Ecuadorian, so I've got Spanish/ancient Incan blood running through my veins. And my other half is generic British, so maybe I've got some Irish-leprechaun-pot-o-gold blood in me too... Who knows. I also like grommets. They're holes, which are normally structural defects, but then they're made of metal, which is structurally strong... Too much analysis? Yup...

I got a new belt!

A Boring Day in My Life

Woke up groggy. Didn't get much sleep cuz I stayed up too late last night. Made some oatmeal with almond milk, honey, and flax seeds. Pretty tasty, but it was better the first time I made it a few days ago. Too weak to work out. Did 15 pushups. Normally I do 50, and by "normally" I mean once or twice a week... Andrea got ready and left for work before me.

I went to work. Don't remember the drive. Not a very memorable experience, driving to work. I guess that's forty minutes per day (twenty each way) where I don't really even exist because it's just a re-run. I miss stupid NPR - still don't have a car stereo. Eh, don't really miss them, cuz they're doing annoying pledge drive right now anyway (I know because I listen to it at work or in Andrea's car sometimes.) Work was slow, or rather I was slow. VPN issues have been the bane of my existence the last few days. Yammered about it on our work Yammer site - that wasn't appreciated by the president (or CEO, I can never figure out people's titles.) I feel like I've been stepping on lots of toes lately - I keep saying dumb shit or doing things that disturb other people's interpersonal relationships. Am I an asshole? I think I'm closer to being one than I've ever been in the past. Normally I'm docile and agreeable, right?

Wasn't very focused at work. Got excited thinking about gardening this weekend. I think this is gonna be the big weekend. I'm going to rent a truck and perhaps a tiller and get some dirt and some trees from the Natural Gardener and plant a garden and do some landscaping. "Perhaps." Andrea says I use that word too much. Perhaps I do.

Got home before Andrea. She's been doing this ... ah, ask her what she's been doing. I gotta break this habit of talking about other people's business. She wasn't coming home till later, but... Hmm... Skip this paragraph. The important bit is that I cleaned the bathroom. Got all motivated to clean.

That was interrupted by the movie du jour, "Wanted." Pretty decent movie. Not much back story and over the top action nonsense, but all in all it was entertaining. I could see where it borrowed elements from Fight Club and Office Space... Perhaps it was lacking in originality. Perhaps.

Andrea went to bed early. She always wakes up before me, leaves for work before me, comes home after me, and goes to bed before me.

I'm in a bad mood. I have a habit of doing chores when I'm in a bad mood. Don't know how that habit got started, but hey, at least the house gets cleaned. I've been doing laundry, dishes, and general cleanup and organization for the last three hours.

Got on the Internet to ease the brains away from stressors and onto irrelevant entertainment. That kinda worked. Typing a dull, fragmented blog helped. I'm about ready for bed now.

Dunno how long it took you to read this, but those are seconds you will never get back, my friends. I'm a time murderer... with a tiny little knife, ripping away seconds or minutes from your most valuable resource, your life.

I have no regrets... but I do have a ton of clean laundry and dishes! Tomorrow will be better.

Goat

In other news, I've been sort of seriously entertaining the idea of getting a goat friend for my little dog-son, Suge. I dunno why. I kinda like goats. They're funny. And they mow and fertilize the lawn. And they have really weird looking eyes.

Either that or perhaps a small pig...

And some chickens. Chickens in general are really funny to me.

One of my coworkers was trying to tell me that it's illegal to have such creatures unless you're classified as a farm, but this article seems to state otherwise. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn about laws anyway...

Anybody here willing to goat/pig/chicken/dog sit?

Pictures: Las Vegas 2009

As a "secret Santa" Christmas gift, Andrea's dad gave us a gift card for a two-night stay at the Polo Towers in Las Vegas! We went a day early and stayed at the Rio, which was nothin' special. I sat around memorizing the rules for blackjack and then we went to the Gold Coast. Everything I memorized when out of my head. Couldn't even do basic math. After a mere three hands and we ended up buying a pack of cards and playing in our room instead.

The next day we walked all up and down the strip in search of $5 blackjack tables. The weather was nice, but there was a lot of construction, and an insane amount of guys handing out prostitute cards. The streets are littered with them. They have a hilarious lack of respect too - they were reaching across my wife to try to get me to take the cards. At one point we just laughed and started taking them. I got a thick stack of cards featuring various women wearing nothing but tiny (occasionally misplaced) stars... Oh Vegas, you have such a unique charm... That evening we met up with my cousin Claire, who I hadn't seen for probably 15 years. As it turns out, she's awesome! We hung out with her all evening. We dined at Sea Blue, saw Cirque du Soleil's "KA", and then got a table at Tabu ultralounge. It was like a normal lounge, but "ultra"- I'd say it was just shy of being an xtremelounge or an uberlounge.

On the third day we finally found a good table and a good dealer and we won lots of money, which we then spent to stimuhlate da ecomuhnee?

The End. Look at the fun pictures now.

http://picasaweb.google.com/evans.tucker/LasVegas2009#slideshow

Free Money: $3000 Off a New Car

Check yourself before you wreck yourself (or before you wreck your bank account with a new car loan anyway.)

Basically, it's $3,000 off a new car if you've been driving an 10 year old or older P.O.S. for the last year or so and you meet certain income restrictions. I don't qualify for a number of reasons, but I'm sure someone who reads this does or at least knows someone who does. Here's the link:

http://www.tceq.state.tx.us/implementation/air/mobilesource/vim/driveclean.html

Now go out and stimulate that ecom-muh-nee!

Go buy a Nissan Versa - cheapest car in the U.S., good gas milage, and Nissan is pretty reliable I think. Brand new car is like $9,000ish (prolly $10,000 after bullshit fees). That's $7,000 after rebate for a brand new 2009 car.

Quote of the Morning

"Friday, February 27th
Uranus is at aphelion today, its farthest from the Sun in its 84-year orbit. For the rest of your life, Uranus will appear just a trace closer every year."

Site Updates

I was just discussing the merits of RSS with Jessica and she pointed out that if everyone uses RSS, they won't ever know when you update the look of your site - they only see the main content of the site.

So, BTWOMG! I updated my site's look. It's still ugly, but in a simple, pleasing sort of way, like a butterface who's facing the other direction.

Detox

I've been on a detoxification diet for 11 days. Andrea wanted to do it because she was having unexplainable headaches and just felt unhealthy in general. I joined her because I wanted to support her - I wanted to help her get through this brutal diet...

Basically, it's a raw, organic vegetable diet. Well, that's not exactly it... Let me try to explain it. In the morning you must follow a rigid procedure. Wake up. Squeeze half a lemon into a glass of water. Drink it. Drink a second glass of water without lemon. Eat one piece of fruit. Wait for half an hour. Eat a bowl of whole grain ______ (fill in the blank with something that's gluten-free.) We've been eating quinoa - it's actually pretty good. You are allowed to add a little salt and some "Better Butter", which is a half and half mixture of butter and olive oil. That's it. Done with breakfast. For lunch you eat organic vegetables - raw or steamed. We've been eating broccoli, kale, onions, asparagus, beets, radishes, carrots, and potatoes. Between 3pm and 6pm you are permitted to eat 4 ounces of protein which can be in the form of chicken or fish if you wish. For dinner, see lunch. That's the diet. Nothing else. No nuts, no sugar, no coffee, no milk, no cheese, no bread, no bacon, no burritos, no kolaches. And you are allowed to drink herbal teas and water only.

I don't know whether the diet is to blame or not, but I'm covered in rashes or hives or something of that nature. My back, arms, and legs have incredibly itchy bumps all over them. It's rad. I've been WebMDing and Googling to try to figure out what this crap it. As far as I can tell it's either eczema, scabies, or the "toxins" being released from my body. I dunno. I wish it was scabies - that'd be hilarious going from the top of the food chain down to something that microscopic mites feed on.

Today we decided of our own accord to loosen the restrictions a little. We're adding gluten-free bread products, nuts, and the ability to eat any of the items on the diet at any time one pleases. So, we're still eating healthy, but it's not so damn structured. I have to say, it's been interesting so far. At first I was hungry and weak all the time. I got over that a few days ago (presumably my body re-learned how to manage blood sugar levels instead of letting me manage them via tasty snacks, coffee, and soda.) Now I'm slowly weaning myself back on to "real" food. Hopefully I will keep what I have learned, which is:

• Vegetables are tasty.
• ...and cheap by comparison.
• Whole Foods has some crazy crap in the produce section (galanga root???)
• Beets make everything come out red.
• Healthy wife = happy wife.
• Happy wife = happy life.
• A bacon a day keeps the scabies away? Still working on that theory...

We're ending the diet on Feb 13th, so don't ask us out for beers or dinner until then, cuz it's just torture.

My Vocabulary

...is pathetic. I made a word cloud of my blog by going to Wordle. Apparently "like" is the most commonly used word on my website. I need to do something about that.

Kids

One of my friends blogged about kids the other day, which got me thinking about it. I talked to Andrea for a little while we developed this list of pros and cons. Can you guys think of anything we've missed? Leave some more in the comments.

Pros:

• Evans: They do chores.
• Evans: They provide hours of entertainment.
• Evans: They give me an excuse to go to the zoo, museum, blow stuff up in the name of teaching them "science", etc.
• Andrea: More people that love you, and more people for you to love.
• Andrea: You can act like a kid again when you're around them and not feel silly.
• Evans: You get to teach them stuff you like and pass down these interests to the next generation and onward for eternity!
• Andrea: You can make them take care of you when you're old and give you a diaper change.
• Evans: You can teach them tricks... like a dog.
• Andrea: Their minds are like sponges.
• Andrea: You learn cool skills like eating and holding a baby at the same time.
• Evans: Your wife's breasts get bigger.
• Evans: You can play fetch with them.
• Andrea: Your parents stop nagging you to have kids.
• Evans: You can make up a fun names and then give them to them.
• Evans: You have a legit reason to buy Legos at age 30-something.
• Andrea: You become very strong from having to pick them up all the time.
• Evans: You get to give them ridiculous haircuts and they don't know any better.
• Andrea: Live-in slaves.
• Evans: They say history is written by the winners... Not in my house. You can teach your kids whatever you want and make them believe it's true.
• Andrea: They make you become less materialistic.
• Evans: They give you something to do from your 30s to your 50s - it's like that old Sega slogan "Welcome to the next level."

Cons:

• Andrea: They come outta my vagina.
• Evans: Poop, pee, barf, drool.
• Evans: They look like evil, warped versions of real people until they're like... 20 years old.
• Andrea: They talk back.
• Andrea: They wake you up in the middle of the night.
• Andrea: It's more difficult to go out and do things.
• Andrea: You have to constantly be obsessed with your child's safety.
• Evans: They are really, really, really expensive.
• Andrea: They are the end of your life as you know it.
• Evans: They will probably develop drug, sex, or mental problems.
• Evans: They will rebel against you and you will lose.
• Andrea: You have to make everything in your life baby-proof.
• Evans: Your house will fill up with stupid, brightly-colored, singing, plastic crap.
• Andrea: Your non-baby-having-friends will stop hanging out with you.
• Andrea: Tweens.
• Evans: Teens.
• Evans: Everything you charish will be destroyed.
• Evans: They aren't fuzzy like kitties or puppies.