Kids

One of my friends blogged about kids the other day, which got me thinking about it. I talked to Andrea for a little while we developed this list of pros and cons. Can you guys think of anything we've missed? Leave some more in the comments.

Pros:

• Evans: They do chores.
• Evans: They provide hours of entertainment.
• Evans: They give me an excuse to go to the zoo, museum, blow stuff up in the name of teaching them "science", etc.
• Andrea: More people that love you, and more people for you to love.
• Andrea: You can act like a kid again when you're around them and not feel silly.
• Evans: You get to teach them stuff you like and pass down these interests to the next generation and onward for eternity!
• Andrea: You can make them take care of you when you're old and give you a diaper change.
• Evans: You can teach them tricks... like a dog.
• Andrea: Their minds are like sponges.
• Andrea: You learn cool skills like eating and holding a baby at the same time.
• Evans: Your wife's breasts get bigger.
• Evans: You can play fetch with them.
• Andrea: Your parents stop nagging you to have kids.
• Evans: You can make up a fun names and then give them to them.
• Evans: You have a legit reason to buy Legos at age 30-something.
• Andrea: You become very strong from having to pick them up all the time.
• Evans: You get to give them ridiculous haircuts and they don't know any better.
• Andrea: Live-in slaves.
• Evans: They say history is written by the winners... Not in my house. You can teach your kids whatever you want and make them believe it's true.
• Andrea: They make you become less materialistic.
• Evans: They give you something to do from your 30s to your 50s - it's like that old Sega slogan "Welcome to the next level."

Cons:

• Andrea: They come outta my vagina.
• Evans: Poop, pee, barf, drool.
• Evans: They look like evil, warped versions of real people until they're like... 20 years old.
• Andrea: They talk back.
• Andrea: They wake you up in the middle of the night.
• Andrea: It's more difficult to go out and do things.
• Andrea: You have to constantly be obsessed with your child's safety.
• Evans: They are really, really, really expensive.
• Andrea: They are the end of your life as you know it.
• Evans: They will probably develop drug, sex, or mental problems.
• Evans: They will rebel against you and you will lose.
• Andrea: You have to make everything in your life baby-proof.
• Evans: Your house will fill up with stupid, brightly-colored, singing, plastic crap.
• Andrea: Your non-baby-having-friends will stop hanging out with you.
• Andrea: Tweens.
• Evans: Teens.
• Evans: Everything you charish will be destroyed.
• Evans: They aren't fuzzy like kitties or puppies.