Best. Dinner. Ever.
Ingredients:
* 2 pieces of peppered bacon
* 1 can of black-eyed peas
* 2 dashes of cayenne pepper
* 2 slices jalapeño Monterey Jack cheese
Steps:
1. Get a little pot.
2. Stick it on a burner on the stove.
3. Crank it to 11.
4. Dump the black-eyed peas in (do not drain the sauce).
5. Chop up and add the bacon.
6. Add the cayenne pepper.
7. Bring it to a frothing, ass-kicking boil, stirring occasionally.
8. Reduce heat, cover, and let simmer for 10 to 12.333 (repeating of course) minutes.
9. Pour that slop in a big mug.
10. Rip up the cheese into little bits and add it to the mug. Save two shreds of cheese.
11. Eat the pieces of cheese while stirring the soup.
12. When the cheese is thoroughly melted, begin eating it slowly. Caution: it's hot! Don't burn your tongue!
Rock on.
This sounds like something I could actually cook. Especially the step where you "pour that slop into a big mug":) I wonder if my Betty Crocker Cookbook has a definition for "pour slop" next to "mice" and "sift"?
ReplyDelete"MinNCE" I meant "mince", not "mice." Although mice do sound like a prospective ingredient for "slop"
ReplyDeleteEvans's Mouse Slop:
ReplyDeleteIngredients:
* 1 can of chili
* 1 can of corn
* 1 cup of white rice
* 1 appropriate amount of water
* 2 boneless, skinless mouse fillets
Steps:
1. Get a slop-pot.
2. Throw the rice and some water into there. Don't know how to cook rice? Me either, but that's neither here nor there. Look up how much water to use and how to cook rice on the Interwebbings.
3. Add chili and corn to the slop-pot full of rice.
4. Chop up the mouse fillets into even-more-bitesized pieces and chunk it in there.
5. Bring to a mouse-tastic boil.
6. Reduce heat, cover, and let simmer for 15 minutes.
7. Serve to your cat. I ain't eatin that nasty garbage!
And don't ask me where to get skinless, boneless mouse fillets either. I don't know of anywhere that sells them. Just assume that you're gonna have to make em yourself.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure two mouse fillets is enough to go with a whole can of chili, corn, and a cup of rice? You might need more like a whole extended family of mice. I like to go a little more rodent-heavy with my slop:)
ReplyDelete