Calf-Warmers Look Stupid

Just thought I'd mention that before I go. No reason.

Hola. Me llamo Evans. Donde esta el bano?

Yeah, yer thinking, "Why is this dumbass at home messing with his webpage at 10pm on a Saturday?". Well, I'm about to get outta here. Gonna go downtown and see if I can find my roommate, my co-worker, or anyone else vaguely interesting... I'm not a total loser, dammit. Anyway, more random updates here and there... See if you can find em! It's like "Where's Waldo?", have fun (chump)...

Hi.

I added an employment section. I've never really even looked at the links on there, but they're probably as good as any other ones you'll find... or not. Maybe as I start looking for a new job I'll actually be able to provide some quality links.

On a side note, I'd like to mention that registration for QuakeCon 2000 is today. Be there or be square. Square, hehe, what a stupid term. Who came up with that? You're a square you dumb squarey-square square. Yo mama's so square that when she um... ... I dunno. Anyway, check it out. The link is in the Random section.

Oh yeah, it's also Cinco de Mayo. If you live in a city with a decent-sized Hispanic population, go out and party. Don't sit around inside and watch your ass get fatter you lazy American. Go out and DO something. I know I'm going out. I even shaved today. Yeah, wow, miracles really do happen.

Slowly Cleaning Up This Mess

Got bored, went through some links on the Random page and moved a few things around... Updated Shopping, Art, Coding, etc... Just minor stuff. Check out the Hideous Jabbering Head of Abraham Lincoln on the Random page... hehe. I got a kick outta that one. Whoa! Check it out... More than one update in a day! I'm just a friggin' workaholic or something!

Updating Random Section

I'm updating the Random section, yeah, just like the headline says... I added a Movie section a while ago (it's just a list of movies right now). Um, I'm actually gonna start posting headlines EVERY time I update my page instead of just when I feel like I have some smart-ass thing to say. That way it'll look like there are more updates and I can trick you people into visiting my site more often... hehe. Oh yeah, according the survey results exactly three people visit my site on a regular basis: ME (of course), my dad (ol' man thinks I'm a bit funny er sumpthin'), and Vinny da Ogre. Oh well, at least I'm not lagging out my cheesy cable connection serving web pages, huh? That's good I guess.

My Name is Not "Crusty Gerbil Buns"

Well, updated the page again with more shallow, unfinished content. You may have noticed that the "Art" page is probably the most well-developed page on this site right now? That's because "art.html" starts with "a" and that's about as far as I ever get when I do updates... hehe. Anyway, I have some pretty slow, unorganized ftp access now. Just send your browser or ftp client here (you don't need to enter a password). There's no copyrighted or illegal stuff in the public area, hell, there's not much of anything really and what is there isn't organized very well. I'll clean it up eventually (sigh)... I've been working on my database a lot lately. Once I get it functioning properly I'll be able to put all my links and stuff in it and the web page will be a lot easier to update. I'm gonna try to get secure web pages working too just for the hell of it... Maybe I'll develop my own little e-business web interface or something, I dunno... I need to put a counter on this thing too, I'm curious if anyone visits my page besides me... Let's do a quick survey -- If you've visited this site more than once, raise your hand (or any appendage really, it doesn't matter). ... Alright, um, now e-mail me and tell me whether your hand is raised. I'll let you know the survey results in the next update. Thank you for your participation.

Partition Tables Suck

A thousand apologies again for the lack of updates... I'm having problems deciding how to partition my machine so I've got a half-assed install of Windows 98 on one partition and Linux on another and I need some more for public and private ftp access, etc... Anyway, I've almost got that stuff ironed out. Once I have this machine up and running at it's full potential, you can expect a complete reformat of the page and quite a few more updates. Within the next week I intend to get it working. I'm going to be hosting my webpage from my own machine at home so I can run a database and add all kindsa neato technical stuff to it. I'd like to give out some telnet access and host a few of your pages as well so I can make use of the second processor in this big bastard (it's a huge full tower computer). I'm going to be putting a lot more creative content on here as well, more interesting articles like "Brain Rot". That one was fun to write. Gonna make a section on the site called "Thought Burrito II", I'll explain later... Anyway, there's work to be done and since the place that I normally rent my typing monkeys from is closed today I'll just have to do it my damn self.

All Kneel Before His Assholiness, Patrick The First

Added a new PrimusSucks.com link to Random page. This one's for you, bra!

Got Underwear?

Damn, talk about useful services, check out the new InYourPants.com link in the Random section. I might have to subscribe to this service.

New "Dried Urine" Color Scheme

Ah yes, dried urine at it's finest. It really is a nice color as long as you haven't had any traumatizing janitorial experiences...(I've had only one myself, but have since recovered.) I am a computer graphics GOD!!! Well, maybe not, but me and my gimp do alright when it comes to pretty, weird-colored gradients. Also, let me draw your attention to the finely coded menu bar, it's wafer thin. More actual content coming soon.*

* Blatant lie. No actual content is forthcoming... Well, maybe some is, but not anything premeditated.